Surprisingly, most parents do quite well, and most children are resilient enough to survive their parents’ inexperience and grow into reasonably well-adjusted adults. Nevertheless, it is likely that many parents suffer a great deal of unnecessary anxiety because they lack knowledge and direction. This may lead to unrealistic expectations of themselves or their children. Anxiety, doubt/uncertainty, frustration, and guilt are but some of the likely results.

Effective parenting demands knowledge, understanding and skill. It requires knowledge of oneself, partner, and child. Being a family is an ongoing human relations and development exercise for both parent and child. Certain skills are valuable tools for this: good communication, thoughtful decision-making and coping constructively with conflict or stress.

But most of all, parenthood is a matter of the heart: of love, concern, kindness, compassion, and patience stretched to its limits. Being so emotionally involved makes parents vulnerable. Parents may be devastated by their failure to produce ‘model’ children on the one hand but may be filled with an incredible sense of wonder, joy, and pride to see their child grow and mature on the other hand.

It needs to be emphasised that there are no simple ‘how to parent’ recipes. Nevertheless, there are certain principles and skills which can make it more rewarding to be a parent, more exciting to be a child and help to make the family a safe haven in an uncertain world.